pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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