So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I wish life had little blips of pornography
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
