bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
