i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I will be naked everywhere
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
