how do flat chested girls get laid?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
