Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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