Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
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