Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
