I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
