1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
The feeling are messing with the penis
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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