no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
