I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
