I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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