so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
is it fun? or sober?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
