talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
