Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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