So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
