bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Green mimosas i think yes
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
