Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
