After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
