On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
