we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
