I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
