Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
