Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
