I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
