Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
