After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Randomize
