He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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