So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
