Define "chronic" masturbator.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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