your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I believe in your delicious
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
