If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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