Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
