I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
