What did we do last night that was yellow?
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
