I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
