no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
