Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
