The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Come see our sink grown plant.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
