physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
