Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
He did a backflip because drugs
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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