Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
