i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
