Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
