he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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