Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
