check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
you had me at cake vodka
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Randomize
