I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
