You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
