Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i already hear my dad disowning me
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
